One Toe Out (A Complicated Love Story) Read online

  J.T. grinned at her, admiring her spunk. While most women would love to have all eyes on her, Simone despised it, but was willing to put up with it to keep him happy. “Thanks Simone, I appreciate it, but let me know if you change your mind. I can always request something more private.”

  “Will do. This is such a nice restaurant,” she said admiring the room. Located in eclectic Midtown, the restaurant was packed for a Saturday night. “I’ve always heard about it. Ryan Cameron from V-103 talks about it a lot.”

  “So you listen to his radio show?”

  Simone giggled. “Yeah, he’s hilarious. I try to listen to him as often as I can. Sometimes he has me laughing so hard, that he has me in tears.”

  “He’s cool and he’s a big fan of the Jaguars. Whenever we have a home game, he always come through the locker room. And he has us laughing. You know athletes are a tough audience.”

  “I bet,” Simone replied, starting to relax.

  They were eating their food and chatting when a man cautiously approached their table and J.T. groaned inside, but he pasted on a smile. Sometimes all he wanted was to be left alone and be able to have a meal alone without being interrupted. But he knew that it was the fans that cheered him to victory and he needed them. He was carrying a jersey. And J.T. knew that someone had tipped the fan off that he was there, because no one carries a football jersey around.

  “I’m sorry to bother you while you’re eating but can I get your autograph?”

  “Of course man.” He motioned for the man to hand him the jersey, the fan enthusiastically passed it over and J.T. scrawled his signature across the back of it. Simone watched the whole exchange with wide eyes. People had been watching, soon six other people were lined up in front of the table waiting for autographs. She had never seen this level of adoration that fans dripped on J.T. At the diner he was a regular man.

  Seeing where the situation could turn into a full-blown autograph session, the manager had approached the table, nodded discreetly at J.T. before standing behind the last person in line, deterring any new arrivals.

  Fifteen minutes later the last of the autographs were written, the manager kept an eye on their table and told their waiter to keep fans away. They were able to finish their dinner in peace.

  J.T. casually draped his arm across Simone’s shoulders. Atlanta wasn’t L.A. but it had its share of paparazzi and the new smartphones took nice enough pictures. He knew that a picture of him snuggling with Simone will be in the blogosphere by the time he got home tonight.

  “So what is that you wanted to talk about?”

  “Let’s wait until after dessert and we can talk about it in the limo.”

  J.T. escorted her to his limo. Normally he liked driving his Rolls-Royce Phantom Drophead Coupe or his Lamborghini but tonight he didn’t want to drive, he wanted to focus on Simone.

  As soon as the limo started moving, J.T. reached inside the mini fridge and pulled out a bottle, he waved it in front of her. “Would you like some?”

  Simone eyed it suspiciously. “What is it?”

  “Champagne.”

  “Sure, why not.” J.T. grabbed two glasses and poured it for them. Simone took a tentative sip, then giggled and wiped her hand across her nose. “That tickles.” She looked at him, he had drunk it and it didn’t affect him. “How come you’re not giggling?”

  “Real men don’t giggle,” he joked. “Naw, I’ve drunk so much of this stuff that it doesn’t faze me.”

  Simone glanced out of the window. The limo driver was getting on Interstate 75.

  J.T. nervously cleared his throat. The spiel that he had prepared now sounded scripted and fake, but he wasn’t sure how to approach her. Instead of saying something he turned on the sound system and a KEM song came on.

  “Oh, this is nice,” Simone said, getting comfortable she leaned back into the leather seats and sipped her champagne while grooving to the music.

  “You can live like this every day of your life,” J.T. said softly and Simone laughed.

  “Sure if I win the lottery. I don’t see myself riding around in limos and sipping champagne on a daily basis.”

  “But you can,” J.T. insisted.

  “What are you talking about?”

  J.T. took a deep breath. “I know that this is going to sound crazy…very crazy. But I want you to listen to everything I have to say before you form an opinion.”

  Simone was silent, then, “Okay.”

  “Okay, here I go. I want to marry you—”

  Simone’s eyes widened. “Are you crazy?” she croaked.

  J.T. held up a finger. “Please listen. I’m not crazy. You’ll find that I’m one of the sanest people you’ll ever know.” He rubbed his chin and studied her before continuing. He must’ve liked what he saw in her eyes, because he resumed. “I’m gay,” he revealed, then paused waiting for Simone to interrupt him, but she didn’t, she was in shock by his revelation. “And a man videotaped me doing what some people might consider inappropriate. Fortunately, the tape was of poor quality and no one could identify me.”

  “Wow!” was all Simone could manage.

  “Yeah, I want to cover my ass, quite literally. If I marry you, then no one would suspect that I’m gay.”

  “What happens if I go to the TV stations and tell them?”

  J.T. snorted. “I’m sorry, but they won’t believe you. Why should they?”

  “You’re right. But marrying me won’t make you straight,” Simone said and J.T. laughed so much that he had tears in his eyes.

  “If it was that easy, I would’ve done it when I was eighteen, when my self-loathing was beyond over the top.”

  “You’re not expecting me to have sex with you are you?”

  J.T. laughed again. “Let me tell you what I want. I think that’ll be easier and I think you’ll be happy with everything.” He sat back and crossed his legs, then started talking. “We’ll have a whirlwind romance then get married. You’ll be the doting wife, accompanying me to events, traveling with me to some away games. And for all your hard work, I’ll deposit two million dollars in your account on our wedding anniversary.” He knew that amount was pennies compared to the ten-year, one hundred million dollar deal he inked two years ago and the monies he got from his endorsements, but it was all negotiable. “A pre-nup is being drafted and I can present it to you tomorrow. So what are you thinking?” He took a sip of his champagne and waited for her response.

  Simone smiled weakly. “So many things are going on in my head. I feel like it’s exploding. Two million dollars?” she muttered shocked. She had only seen something like this in the movies.

  “Yeah, and I understand, this is a life-altering proposal. Take a minute and think about it.”

  Just then the limo driver exited onto 285, the interstate loop that circled Atlanta. After ten minutes of driving, Simone noticed an increase in the numbers of airplanes in the air. They were getting close to the airport.

  Finally Simone spoke. “What about me? What if I want kids?”

  “You can do that. Next year we’ll go to a fertility facility and have you do artificial insemination —”

  “So you got that part all planned out huh?”

  J.T. looked sheepish. “Listen, I’m a brand. By the end of this year, I’ll make over thirty million dollars and that’s just in endorsements. And unfortunately, a lot of those endorsers don’t want a fucking queer hawking their items. It’s so sad…so sad. I’m a man, Simone. I’m not a queer and I’m not a fag and I’m not one of those other derogatory names that they call gays. I’m a man but unfortunately the NFL won’t let me be me. So I have to create this charade, this sham of a marriage,” he said sadly.

  Simone wanted to hug him. His hurt radiated off him. Oh heck. She reached over and wrapped her arms around him, J.T. stiffened then he relaxed, letting himself be soothed.

  “But what about you?” Simone asked when they separated. “Are you still going to see men?”

  J.T. was going to lie, but
since he was so upfront with her so far, he wanted to continue being so. “I will, but I will be discreet…very discreet. You will not hear or see anything. I promise.”

  “What about me. I have needs too.”

  J.T. had thought about this. It wasn’t reasonable to ask her to squelch her natural urges. “I trust that you will be equally discreet. And I’ll need for you to be discreet about our arrangement. I picked you Simone because I think that you are a honest person and I think we can be good friends. So what do you want to do? Will you marry me?”

  Chapter 5

  With her reading glasses perched on the end of her nose, Lillian perused the pre-nuptial agreement. As promised; J.T. had it hand-delivered to her the next day. She glanced up at her daughter. “Do you think we should have a lawyer take a look at this for you?”

  “I don’t know Mom, I trust J.T. he’s been so upfront and honest with me. I don’t think he has anything to hide.”

  “If he didn’t have anything to hide, he wouldn’t be marrying you,” Lillian quickly reminded her.

  “That’s true Mom.”

  “And look at this. It says that you cannot participate in any type of reality show without his permission and the same goes for the children.”

  Simone laughed. “Oh, that’s okay. I don’t see myself signing on for the next season of Football Wives or the Housewives series; it’s all a bunch of crap to me.”

  “Well, you say that now…”

  “But if some really sweet reality show comes out, then I’m sure J.T. would let me do it.” When the enormity of what she was considering sunk in, she looked at her mother, Simone had the same confused expression on her face that she had when she was five-years-old after Lillian had explained to her how babies got out of their mother’s belly.

  Lillian grabbed her and pulled her into her arms. “It’s okay baby.”

  “I don’t know what to do; it’s all very overwhelming to me. I’m thinking about marrying someone that I don’t love and he’s a gay professional athlete using me to make his life look normal. This is just too much.”

  Lillian stroked her daughter’s hair. “You don’t have to do this,” she said. “You’re under no obligation to him. If you don’t do it, realistically, he’ll find someone else.”

  Simone pulled away from her mother; she straightened her back and pulled back her shoulders as though she was ready to take on the world.

  “I know. But on the other hand. I finally won’t have to think about money, I can travel the world, we can travel the world,” she said excitedly. “I can start a business; I don’t think his pre-nup nixed that idea. And Momma I can buy you a new house. And you won’t have to work anymore,” she said breathlessly.

  “What about you? What happens when you want to date?” Lillian asked, ever the practical one. “Obviously, you two won’t be having any type of marital relations, so what are you going to do about your womanly urges?”

  Simone blushed. While she and her mother had an open relationship and talked about everything under the sun, it still embarrassed her to be talking about sex, specifically her sex life with her mom. “We talked about it. As long as I’m discreet it’s okay. He was very sweet and understanding about it.”

  “But will that be enough?”

  “It will Mom,” she insisted, but her mother still looked skeptical.

  “Money doesn’t keep you warm at night.”

  Simone eyed her mother. “Sure it does, it keeps the electricity from being turned off,” she said sadly, remembering when she was younger there were times when their electricity was cut off, because her father, Lillian’s ex-husband had spent time in and out of prison, and there were times when Lillian didn’t have enough money to pay their bills. And when he was out of prison, he rarely spent time with his children or provided any financial support. No one had heard from him in years. They didn’t know if he was dead or alive.

  “I’m sorry baby. I know growing up was hard…very hard. I know you remember us getting evicted from apartments and taking the bus to the welfare office. But we’re okay now. We overcame all that. I just don’t want you to get yourself into some crazy situation, because you’re afraid that you’ll end up like me.”

  Simone hugged her mom. “Of course, that’s why I’m doing it,” she said honestly. “It’s like I won the lottery. I don’t want to be poor anymore. He and I will have an agreement, we’re partners. Isn’t that what most marriages are anyway? We’re just upfront with it that’s all.”

  “It sounds fine…but I still don’t like it.”

  “Trust me Mom. It’ll be the best thing I’ve ever done and as soon as the first two million is deposited into my account. I’m gonna buy you a new house.”

  “Simone, you don’t have to,” Lillian protested.

  Simone took in their two-bedroom ranch house. They had a kitchen so small that they couldn’t open the oven door and the refrigerator’s at the same time, and bedrooms that could barely hold a full size bed. Her mother had been so proud when she had purchased the house fifteen years ago. She and Simone had shared a bedroom until her brother Lawrence had moved out, then Simone had moved into his room. “But I want to.”

  “Are you going to have a lawyer look at it?” Lillian asked.

  “I’ll see,” she replied airily and strolled off to work.

  “Hey baby, what your name is?” a man-boy asked and Simone cringed, occasionally she’d run across men-boys like him, who still thought it was okay to not speak intelligently. She took his order then checked on her other customers. From the beginning of her shift she had been moving on auto-pilot, she couldn’t get J.T.’s proposal out of her mind.

  When it was break time, Simone grabbed a soda and went through the kitchen and stepped out into the alley. She had a chair there that she liked to sit in and rest her feet. With a sigh, Simone sat down. “If I take J.T. up on his crazy offer, I wouldn’t have to work for six dollars an hour, carrying food,” she muttered and took a sip of her drink. Simone sniffed deeply and almost gagged on the stench from the garbage. I’ll be making two million dollars a year. The amount still boggled her mind.

  “And it’s not like I’ll be losing out on a relationship,” she whispered sadly, thinking of the man boy in the diner who wanted to holler at her. He was typical of the men who were interested in her. At twenty-eight she had only one loving and positive relationship and that was with her high school sweetheart, Sean Miller.

  They had dated for three years and when she was fifteen, they had made love for the first time. He had taken her to her senior prom. One summer night right after they graduated from high school he had been standing in front of, Moxie’s, a corner store, hanging out with some friends, when a car drove by and pelted the group of young men with bullets, three were killed and four were critically wounded. Sadly, Sean was one of the fatalities.

  Rodney, her last boyfriend, had spent ten years in prison for selling drugs. They had started dating after he had been out for a year, whereas some women wouldn’t have given him a second glance, she believed in giving people second chances.

  But it didn’t take long for him to show his true colors. Not only did he return to selling drugs, but he convinced a couple of nineteen-year-old girls to strip and prostitute themselves and give him the money. As soon as she found out, she dropped him faster than a bag of burning shit. “If I marry J.T., I won’t have to deal with that crap! But is it worth it? Can I live a fake life for millions?”

  Chapter 6

  Simone nervously glanced at her fiancé then at her ring. J.T. had given her a twelve carat emerald cut platinum engagement ring, which cost more than her mother’s house.

  Engrossed in reading and responding to his e-mails on his Phone, he didn’t notice her nervousness. Simone picked up the latest Essence magazine from the table and thumbed through it. But she ended up throwing it down after skimming the first few pages.

  Her life had changed tremendously over the last month. She had gotten engaged. And to show
his commitment to their arrangement, J.T. had surprised her by writing her a check for half a million dollars and buying her a new car, a new GranTourismo Convertible Maserati. After a lot of persuading and some begging, Simone had purchased a modest home for her mother. Anyone would have thought Simone had bought her mom a mansion based on her reaction when she saw it, she had cried so hard that Simone was afraid she’d make herself sick. The small ranch that she currently owned could easily fit inside the five bedroom, four sided brick home. With the move-in date only a couple of weeks away, Lillian was scrambling around packing up keepsakes and family pictures. She was selling everything since Simone had promised to completely furnish her new home. Simone’s next item on her to-do list was to buy her mom a new car and taking her shopping for a whole new wardrobe, she planned on doing that as soon as J.T. gave her her two million dollar check.

  As soon as J.T.’s check cleared, she’d quit her waitressing job. The five dollar tips that she had coveted just a month ago, seemed like pennies now, she was on the cusp of becoming a multi-millionairess. Joe’s eyes had gotten as big as one of the pies sitting on the dessert carousel when she’d flashed her ring. He had congratulated her with a hug and had given her a free lunch on the house as an engagement gift.

  Simone glanced at her outfit and hoped that it would impress Marcella. J.T. had warned her that she could come across as a bitch, but she was a bitch who cared about her clients. The girl at the store in the mall who had helped her pick out her outfit had called it casual chic and Simone loved it. With the weather being cool for April, Simone had picked out a pair of leggings and paired it with an oversize sweater that she belted, showing off her small waist. She finished it with a pair of peep toe shoes and a Louis Vuitton bag. She thought she looked nice.

  “Marcella should be here soon,” the receptionist said. “She’s stuck in traffic.”